i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
