Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
