she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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