a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
