Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
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