I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
