why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
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