is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I just gift wrapped bread.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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