why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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