i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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