she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
last night I used snow as a chaser
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize