the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Randomize
