Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
