My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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