I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
wow bdsm is so cute
Randomize
