I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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