i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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