Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
