That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
