Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
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