i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize
