you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
