The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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