You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
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