We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
