even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
