Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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