im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Randomize