I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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