I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
