It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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