Fuck appropriateness.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize
