Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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