and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
