Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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