Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize