I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Randomize
