Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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