Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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