I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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