it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
