My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize