I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
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