There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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