This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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