i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
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