Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
