im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
