He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
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