Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Randomize
