Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize