I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
