Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
