She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Randomize
