i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
