Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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